Some Random Thoughts

Bhimsen

2011-02-20T01:33:00.000-08:00

When you grow up in India, you hear stories about great musicians, singers of the past. Even legends about them. How their singing can make it rain.

When you hear Pt. Bhimsen Joshi - you become audience to those legends.

One of the most memorable moment of my life was listening to his Abhang - Maze maher pandhari with thousands of Varkaris in Pune.

You see thousands of Varkaris instantly mesmerized, swayed and touched spiritually. Thousands who get that much closer to their god. Thousands who may not have experienced a connection with spiritual power before, experiencing for the first time. And all this throughout the night surrounded by these wonderful Varkaris who so deeply believe in God. And you are filled with this pure positive energy and warmth that even if for a second, you do believe everything will be fine. Rather you just dont think, you just want to remain in that place, some where far closer to yourself than you have ever been before.

Then you realize that with music anything and everything is possible. Pt Bhimsen Joshi was one such legend and he will always be. He gave with his singing a kind of experience that you will remember forever. And his songs will make rain for you, just believe a little.

Life and path and bitterness of the soulless heart

2011-02-19T06:42:00.001-08:00

Don't blame the lord for troubles of the path.

With no lord, there wont be a path.

Don't blame the night for darkness.

With no night, there wont be stars.

Don't blame the rose for thorns.

With no roses, there wont be beauty.

Don't blame others.

With no others, there wont be you.

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On your bitter days, remember the sweeter

And on your sweeter days, remember the bitter.

Blame all you want on others.

It wont change a thing.

Blame yourself for everything

and you will be changed forever.

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Its so easy to blame.

To satisfy your ego.

To justify all your wrongs.

To satisfy your greed and lust.

For you know only the bite of your own shoes.

For all you feel is the pain of your own thrones.

Then stop and ask.

Have you ever done wrong?

Have you ever cheated

and lied and stole?

Have you ever done wrong with out meaning to?

And then ask yourself

Did you ever questioned why you got something?

Did you ever deserved any thing?

And what did you do to deserve it?

Did you ever questioned

When you were getting?

Now then why you ask, when you stopped getting?

Courage

2010-10-26T00:59:00.000-07:00

There are many forms of courage. One of the forms is to smile despite knowing that there is nothing you can do to prevent what is going to happen to you or some one you love so much.

Almost every day you will have to go to bed crying and yet you have to wake up like nothing has happened and everything will be alright. You have to put up a show just to be happy and try to enjoy those last few days/weeks/months what ever left you with out thinking of the end.

It is very difficult. It takes tremendous amount of courage to get through such situation. You tied and pushed in a corner and punched and you can not scream but have to smile through each punch. And yet you want this to go on forever. No, you need this to go on forever. Because every new second you get feels like a blessing.

I sincerely wish that no one ever need to display this form of courage.

Money

2010-10-08T02:52:00.000-07:00

Making money is easy. (1)

I learned this after running a business for 3 years. Not a highly successful business. Not a million-dollar business (, yet). But just by taking that risk.

Initially - perhaps like any one else (or may be not) entire focus was on from where next months expenses are coming. From where I am going to make money. Of many more such dirt cheap living situation before I can crash on a bed in a nice comfy apartment. How much more time before I will finally stop having nightmares about not able to make salaries or having to live on the street.

After 3 years I realized making money is absolutely easy. If I can even think about running a business, I sure can make money when ever I want.

Once you take biggest risk in life and are still on and about, then everything else starts looking pretty easy. Not easy - but not something you will be intimidated by. Not something which will give you nightmares at least.

And after I realized that money is the easier part, I decided to take that final step. Not thinking actively about making money at all.

Life seems full of much more opportunities than before.

(1) - Not crores of rupees but enough to spend for a comfortable life-style with may be very few corners cut.

Neglect

2010-10-05T23:26:00.000-07:00

The worst thing a person can do other person is neglect.

You can be angry with some one and express it. You can hate some one and express it. You can be disgusted with some one and yet express it.

But if you neglect some one, then the wounds run much deeper than any thing else. I am not sure why. (1)

You can shout at some one, say sorry and move on. You can even hit some one say sorry and move on (I dont recommend this though). But you cant just neglect some one, for a long time, and then still hope to build a relationship with them in future.

Neglect is basically questioning some one's mere existence and its impossible not to feel extremely insulted and depressed because of it.

Be careful with this powerful weapon, you might burn down bridges which you dont want to.

(1) - Very quick research shows me that know one has ever attempted to study neuro-behavioral pattern when exposed to neglect, or tried but I am not able to google the findings. And since neglect is not really expression of any emotion, it is perhaps difficult for brain to process it and hence it leaves a deeper mark on emotional processing of the individual. Animals are also observed to react to it. My personal, thoroughly un-scientific observation is - couples which often quarrel end up having better relationship than couples who use neglect to express then anger/frustration/disagreement (silent treatment etc).

Privileges

2010-10-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

What we are is defined by how we use privileges given to us.

Whether in personal life or in professional. We are entrusted with privileges thinking that we will make good use of them and will not abuse them.

Entire social hierarchies and control mechanism have come into being because people started building tendencies to abuse such privileges.

Stop and think before you are doing so. Because you may soon find that these privileges are taken back from you. And not just you but even your peers.

You are not just affecting your own life but life of people touched by your existence.

Journey

2010-09-09T05:30:00.001-07:00

Destinations are quiet places where we want to reach in the end.

Journey is what makes reaching there fun and enjoyable.

Journeys are where we make friendships and forge relationships.

Destination is just a carrot to keep us going, journey is what we really want.

Problem is we often realize that only when we reach the destination.

Perhaps we can start thinking less about destination and more about journey.

Good

2010-09-06T02:48:00.000-07:00

Most times we have best things heart and yet we are often perceived to be bad.

As human race has evolved our minds are closing us into more and more paranoid thoughts. Because of this our mind has actually closed for things which are generally good.

Most of us dont like to pause and think about things which may seem bad but might actually be in our best interest. Might have been done in very casual sense with out meaning anything.

Because of this we have to focus more and more on being perceived good rather than on just being good. And being perceived good is far easier to fake and hence people can deceive you. Which will force more paranoid thoughts and more cheating.

World will be much better if all had a moment to think.

Eg - In India we have two major political parties - congress and BJP. congress is the one which has very successful faked in being perceived good where as BJP unfortunately a really good party has always been bad at that. Hopefully situation will change sooner than later.

Tangent - If you have seen a movie click by Adam Sandler then I have always related automation of mundane tasks to automation of emotion processing. We need to stop doing that.

Jealousy

2010-08-28T05:16:00.000-07:00

Is your life based upon how others see you? How much bragging rights you have in group of people? Are you always tormented by inferiority complex about little things? Then you can never succeed in life.

Problem with jealousy is - it will always force you to be with people who are inferior to you. Who are perhaps not as gifted as you are or not as ambitious as you are.

Have you ever thought of planning your life in a way where you will have those bragging rights 10 years down the line in your peer group rather than in your friend circle?

Your mentor generally awakens you to see beyond immediate success and failure. That is the most important job of a mentor. Mentor will train you to detach from immediate short term satisfaction to long term persistent euphoria.

Do you have such mentor? No. You should start searching for one.

Example from Mahabharat - Karna's continuous jealousy towards Arjun was his down fall. Because of the jealousy and because of his longing for short term satisfaction he decided to challenge him for a dual during the graduation day contest and one thing lead to another and he found himself in eternal debt of the wrong man.

Do not let this happen to you!

Woman who almost became THE one

2010-03-08T01:16:00.000-08:00

I used to write a blog about people who have became special for me. People who are part of me and will always remain to be so. On this day of World Women's Day, this post is dedicated to the one girl who really made me happy, while it lasted. You know I am talking about you.

Dear Princess,

A strange mistake is often termed as destiny. In our case it was almost destiny. You shared her name and that lead to so many things. That one mistake is probably the only mistake in my life which I will perhaps make infinite number of times given a chance. Unfortunately life is not simple and I wont get that chance now, ever.

Chatting with you almost 24 by 7, on chat, on email on phone. Waking up at 7am in the morning, after having just said good night at 6am never felt so good and perhaps will never feel so good again. Songs that we sang for each other and the dreams that we created for each other will always be cherished and that I know.

Where ever you are now, stay the way you are. You are too good to be true and perhaps that is the reason, we are not together. I never believed it is for real. Retrospecting, I should have believed it. I should have submitted to it. But alas, when its not meant to be its not meant to be.

My princess, rani, babes and darling - I will always love you.

Comment on current political wars in Maharashtra

2010-02-10T02:41:00.000-08:00

India became a country about 63 years ago. Before that there was no existence of the country. We embraced a democratic and unified government with a build up to it from 1930, post The non-co-operation movement lead by Mahatma Gandhi. Actual realization of it happened in 1947, post a very troubling world war - II. Perhaps not much for India, but for most of the western of world as we see it.

Now how all of these things affect or are related to current Marathi asmita related problems. Please note - I am not trying to blame any one, neither I am trying to provide a escapist view that if these things happen, let them happen, lets all move on from one crisis to other.

Few notes -
1. India as a country is very young. Only reason we became a country is we all had a common enemy in British.
2. India is a very big country. Population of India is more than a billion and thats a lot of people.
3. We have many different cultures and languages with in the this country. But most of these cultures where never part of a unified government before British rule. And even under British rule, all parts of India did not have exactly same rules. Also some parts of India, even during british rule were governed by Kings, even if amount of power these kings had was nominal. Some of the areas were ruled by other outsiders like Portuguese, French or African Siddi's.
4. Many of these cultures have had a violent past with each other, based on political aspects. For example Suja's of Bengal and Peshwas of Pune clashed. Nizam's , Adilshashi, Chikkmangalaur's King, Chhatrapati Shivaji, Bundels, Gorakhas all fought with each other at some point or the other.
5. The north and south, typically above Narmada and below Tapi respectively, are 2 regions which were never part of same government. North saw dynasties of Vikramaditya, Shrung, Maurya, Mughals. Where as south saw dynasties of Satvahanas, Vijaynagar, Peshwas, Nizams etc.
6. If British rule was not there, India as a country would probably have never existed. We have had democracy, but in sub-parts.

So essentially, even though we are taught in school that we a country of different cultures and values, what we arent told is we as a nation, as country are recent concepts.

How this is different from other countries - neither country on this planet has such history. For example United Kingdom of Great Britain is still a sovereign state of four countries. Even though these four countries are bound by same governance, they still have their individual identity intact like 4 different cricket teams or Soccer teams etc.

So even though we can all debate about being a nation and one rule for all, we need to also understand that perhaps having one single rule and one single identity for such a big and diversified nation is perhaps not a good idea. I still love you all Indians and I know you all love me too. But it is my natural instinct and perhaps a right to protect my people. And when its comes to defining my people physical closeness is more important than governing closeness. I will care about the stranger living in my colony more than I can care about stranger living in some distant part of India.

Disclaimer - Idea behind this post is not to support any kind of violence or any kind of division based politics. But if we as a nation, as one single country cant solve Kaveri water issue in 40 years, perhaps we dont deserve to be one single nation.

Update: The questions that I am asking in this post are not for any individual, group, but for myself and perhaps my readers. I have been stuck with this questions since I learned about Riots against Sikhs and after I did a study about various regional debates happened in last 6 decades ie post independence.

Meaning of democracy

2009-04-17T23:41:00.000-07:00

I remember to read a book which discussed true meaning of democracy in depth. I can not recollect name of the book as I read it long back when I was in school. But few things from that book.

Democracy by definition is for the people, by the people, of the people. Now if you look at current implementation of these democracies all across world, what you see is a large nation which has kind of a senate/loksabha where all parts of that nation sends representatives.
If you look at the Autocracies in history, especially if you dig deep into Shung Dynasty and how they ruled in around 500 years starting from 200 AD to 700 AD in Northern part of India ie above Narmada then it is completely different. What happened was there is one central decision making mechanism which decides bold points. It will be in control of decisions which affects all parts of the nation. For example foreign policy, military. It creates few simple rules which are implemented across all parts of nation.
Most interesting thing is, there is no fixed definition of the part. A village can be a part, a State or Prant can be a part. So what people get is micro level control in decision making process.
Courts, Tax structures, Policy making committees were defined at any of such Part level. Group villages can agree to become a single unit to form a larger part. Such groups can come together to form an even larger part and so on so forth.

The advantage is - People are involved in democracy.

Current implementation that we see across the world, be it parliamentary democracy is people involvement is limited to selecting representation. So the basic idea was that people will choose wisely and better people to represent them. But this assumption does not hold true, as people have chosen wrong representatives all the time. Many times due to lack of availability of good people who are interested in representing them.

In part-based democracy, we force people to be involved always, which makes sure that good people, better people who have the requisite qualities necessary to lead are also involved. People are not merely voters but also executers.

Voting is probably the least important responsibility for a person in democracy. Often we do glorify it to be the most important. Reason why I think it is least important is, voting is merely selection. But execution of decision making, development plans are more important than selection. Off course voting is also important but not as much as selection.

Second advantage - Fixed decision makers.

In current form of democracy, especially in India, what we see is some parties come together after election. They break away. People change parties all the time. Around the world also, there is not fixed party which runs the country for longer period.
Which means that lot of importance in given to administrative staffs, who are not elected members. They do not represent people. But yet they have decision making powers.
In part based systems, since the decision making is done by the part, which is a physical section of the larger nation, it essentially means that decision makers are going to be same people over a longer period of time. Off course, there will be migrations, immigrations which will affect this. But still I think around 90% of people will be similar. Who understand each other, who understand each others problems better.

One argument you can have is - In India there is already such system in place. From gram-panchayat to Loksabha we have micro to macro level of decision making levels.
But I doubt it is implemented correctly. In principal, yes it is there and we can be involved in the decision making and execution process. But only upto certain extent. That extent of participation is not at correct level.
For example, Nasik as a part can not decide its on tax structure. Tax paid by Nasik people, is used only partly in Nasik and there is no transparency to that as well. So money I earned and tax I paid from that is not used by government to provide me with better infrastructure, develop my own city or 'Part'. True, that tax paid by larger parts is used in development of smaller parts, but that should not have been the case. Why should I be responsible for development of other parts of my nation. We are enforcing a rule which is not correct in true sense of democracy. Tax is one such issue, and may be the most controversial one, but if you start thinking about it then, there are many such issues.

For example - Take case of the Tata Nano project in Singure. If we truly had the micro level democracy in place, the issue would not have blown so much out of proportion. All Tata would have to do is take permission from the micro-level decision making framework and execute the project there if they agree. Why the larger part West Bengal needs to be involved. Its their land and they should decide what they want to do about it. They should decide the terms and conditions with Tata directly.

I know that education will be an argument when we think about such framework. People are not educated, people dont understand their own good and hence we need policy makers etc. But we are talking about democracy here. If we dont trust peoples judgment they how can we run a democracy?

More to come in later posts.

Bubble burst

2008-12-10T22:54:00.000-08:00

Once there was a little island country. The land of this country was the tiny island itself. The total money in circulation was 2 dollars as there were only

two pieces of 1 dollar coins circulating around.

1) There were 3 citizens living on this island country. A owned the land. B and C each owned 1 dollar.

2) B decided to purchase the land from A for 1 dollar. So, now A and C own 1 dollar each while B owned a piece of land that is worth 1 dollar.

* The net asset of the country now = 3 dollars.

3) Now C thought that since there is only one piece of land in the country, and land is non producible asset, its value must definitely go up. So, he borrowed 1

dollar from A, and together with his own 1 dollar, he bought the land from B for 2 dollars.

*A has a loan to C of 1 dollar, so his net asset is 1 dollar.

* B sold his land and got 2 dollars, so his net asset is 2 dollars.

* C owned the piece of land worth 2 dollars but with his 1 dollar debt to A, his net residual asset is 1 dollar.

* Thus, the net asset of the country = 4 dollars.

4) A saw that the land he once owned has risen in value. He regretted having sold it. Luckily, he has a 1 dollar loan to C. He then borrowed 2 dollars from B

and acquired the land back from C for 3 dollars. The payment is by 2 dollars cash (which he borrowed) and cancellation of the 1 dollar loan to C. As a

result, A now owned a piece of land that is worth 3 dollars.

But since he owed B 2 dollars, his net asset is 1 dollar.

* B loaned 2 dollars to A. So his net asset is 2 dollars.

* C now has the 2 coins. His net asset is also 2 dollars.

* The net asset of the country = 5 dollars. A bubble is building up.

(5) B saw that the value of land kept rising. He also wanted to own the land. So he bought the land from A for 4 dollars. The payment is by borrowing 2

dollars from C, and cancellation of his 2 dollars loan to A.

* As a result, A has got his debt cleared and he got the 2 coins. His net asset is 2 dollars.

* B owned a piece of land that is worth 4 dollars, but since he has a debt of 2 dollars with C, his net Asset is 2 dollars. * C loaned 2 dollars to B, so his net asset is 2 dollars.

* The net asset of the country = 6 dollars; even though, the country has only one piece of land and 2 Dollars in circulation. .

(6) Everybody has made money and everybody felt happy and prosperous.

(7) One day an evil wind blew, and an evil thought came to C's mind. "Hey, what if the land price stop going up, how could B repay my loan.

There is only 2 dollars in circulation, and, I think after all the land that B owns is worth at most only 1 dollar, and no more."

(8) A also thought the same way.

(9) Nobody wanted to buy land anymore.

* So, in the end, A owns the 2 dollar coins, his net asset is 2 dollars.

* B owed C 2 dollars and the land he owned which he thought worth 4 dollars is

now 1 dollar. So his net asset is only 1 dollar.

* C has a loan of 2 dollars to B. But it is a bad debt. Although his net asset is still 2 dollars, his Heart is palpitating.

* The net asset of the country = 3 dollars again.

(10) So, who has stolen the 3 dollars from the country? Of course, before the bubble burst B thought his land was worth 4 dollars.

Actually, right before the collapse, the net asset of the country was 6 dollars on paper. B's net asset is still 2 dollars, his heart is palpitating.

(11) B had no choice but to declare bankruptcy. C as to relinquish his 2 dollars bad debt to B, but in return he acquired the land which is worth 1

dollar now.

* A owns the 2 coins; his net asset is 2 dollars.

* B is bankrupt; his net asset is 0 dollar. (He lost everything)

* C got no choice but end up with a land worth only 1 dollar

* the net asset of the country = 3 dollars.

************ **End of the story; BUT ************ ********* ******

There is however a redistribution of wealth.

A is the winner, B is the loser, C is lucky that he is spared.

A few points worth noting -

(1) when a bubble is building up, the debt of individuals to one another in a country is also building up.

(2) This story of the island is a closed system whereby there is no other country and hence no foreign debt. The worth of the asset can only be calculated

using the island's own currency. Hence, there is no net loss.

(3) An over-damped system is assumed when the bubble burst, meaning the land's value did not go down to below 1 dollar.

(4) When the bubble burst, the fellow with cash is the winner. The fellows having the land or extending loan to others are the losers. The asset could

shrink or in worst case, they go bankrupt.

(5) If there is another citizen D either holding a dollar or another piece of land but refrains from taking part in the game, he will neither win nor lose.

But he will see the value of his money or land goes up and down like a see saw.

(6) When the bubble was in the growing phase, everybody made money.

(7) If you are smart and know that you are living in a growing bubble, it is

worthwhile to borrow money (like A) and take part in the game. But you must know when you should change everything back to cash.

(8) As in the case of land, the above phenomenon applies to stocks as well.

(9) The actual worth of land or stocks depends largely on psychology (or speculation)

Violent India

2008-12-03T09:50:00.000-08:00

Well thanks to all the violence happening around country, I decided to write something here. Some random thoughts coming in to my mind finding way here.

So its about end of year. Still few days to go and I dont want list to grow any more. We witnessed violence all over. In Maharashtra over Bihari issue. In Bengal over Nano issue. In Assam, Delhi and other parts over terrorism. And just when we thought worst is over, Mumbai attacks happened. Sad sad year for Indians. I am not going to talk about terrorists, Pakistan, Raj T, Mamta Banergy and others who might have invoked this violence on innocent people. I want to talk about you and me. Victims, observers. People who want to do something but either just rant about it.

In school we were taught the national pledge. We used to take everyday. I know it still in Marathi. How many of you know it? Doubt even 1% know it once they graduate from school.

There are few things in the pledge.

1. India is my country -
India is "my" country. When something is mine, I have the responsibility to make it better. I dont know how many of us really understand this. Even I am not sure how to make it better. All I know is if I work hard some how it is going to help my country. If I dont do anything thats against law, against general moral/ethics, I will be helping my country. Even jumping a red light is not helping my country. Do I need to do any thing more to help the country. I can. But even if I am the most selfish person to walk (or blog :-) ), I feel if I can do what is bare minimum required of me, then thats enough.

2. All Indians are my brothers and sisters -
Now this is reciprocal relationship. For me to consider some one as my brother or sister, said person need to reciprocate the feeling, right? Sadly this is not happening in India. Bihari's want Bihari's railway. Marwari's wants marwari's as assitants. Marathi's want marathis in jobs. Is this how its supposed to be? I am fine with financial corruption. I really dont care. For me it even keeps the money flowing in the country to some extent. But moral/ethics corruption is far more dangerous. As most often or not, people will fight against each other when things go out of hand. Moral, ethical corruption always lead to bloodshed. This has been proved for years. Mahabharata did not happen because of land. It happened because there was deep moral corruption. It was not about greed of a man or group of men. It was about society which was getting corrupted. Sadly there is no Lord Shri Krishna on the scene now to help us out, or is there one?

3. I am proud of its rich and varied heritage
This is still so true. Only thing is now these cultures are fighting against each other. Raj T incident has had so deep reaching impact on my mind that its unbelievable. After Mumbai attack we mind less group of people start forwarding SMSes, where was Raj T and his good squad when mumbai burnt? Where were Marathi NSG commandos. All NSGs were from delhi and punjab. And what not. I read these SMSes just as I walked past hoarding saluting people like Karkare, Chitte, Dhobale. I havent cried in last 10 years but that day I did. We have become such mindless group as a country. We just need one reason to pelt stone at each other. I don't care what Raj T thinks and does. I hardly support in extremists. But when you forward SMSes like this you are becoming one of the extremists. Dont you think? You call politicians Thugs, Gundas, Opportunists. Didnt you also proved you are opportunists?

4.To my country and my people, I pledge my devotion.
To my country and my people I pledge my devotion. Hardly we do this. Muslims, biharis, bengalis, gujrathis, marathis, South Indians, north Indians. All are fighting against each other. Over land, jobs, women, water. Day by day we are going closer to separatism. As a large community with varied cultures, languages we are going further are further away from each other. It feels like Communal riots of 47 were like big bang which put in place the momentum to take us away from each other.

5. In their well being and prosperity alone, lies my happiness.
What can I even say about this. All we are worried about is me, myself and I. I will bash some one as everyone is doing that. So it makes me look good. We dont care to even think beyond news paper headlines as to what is going on. No one cared enough to go to Singur and talk to villagers there. But we were all bashing Mamta in the dirtiest language possible. No one tried to find out truth behind Raj T and anti Bihari acts of his. No one tried to see whats happening in Gujrath, who killed those Hindus but all were burning down Muslim houses. We are so angry, so worked up. Some people show it through physical violence some show it through online violence. Fuck, asshole have been cult words. I even read an article about how people should shove up the candles they were lighting in the memory of dead in Mumbai attacks, up their ass. I really dont know what kind of Sanskar this guy had when he was growing up.

What we need to do as a nation? Are there any straight answers? Something tangible
we can do?

All I decided to do was -

1. I will never hate anyone. Be it Raj T or be it Mamta Banergy. Be it muslim, chirstian, bihari, marwari, marathi.
2. I will be responsible about what I say and what I do. That much I owe to my country.
3. I will make sure I one statement does not create hatred in my friend who might be from some other culture.
4. I will make sure I create atmosphere on unity around myself. If everyone tries doing that, I am sure we can achieve unity all around.
5. I will not say anything out of emotion, out of hatred, out of rage, out of ignorance.
6. I will not tolerate violence on street. If some one is beating some one with out reason. I will try to stop violence. No longer will I be a mute observer.
7. I will work hard. I will work harder every day till I die. I will contribute in every way Lord Shri Krishna has enabled me to help my country and my country-people.
8. I will spread love. Love for even those that you think should be despised. That is what Mahatma taught us and that is what is the only way for better humanity.
9. Most importantly I will not be divided. I will treat everyone marathi, bihari, marwari, punjabi, male, female everyone the same.

I remember once my mentor told me that there wont be world war now in nations. Villages, towns will fight against each other. I know he meant it when he said that. I just wish it does not happen. I wish we grow up. I wish there comes some one like Gandhi/Tilak/Savarkar/Patel who can again lead us. Who can again channelize our energies.

Love,
Sushrut

Answers

2008-07-21T01:26:00.000-07:00

[Part One]
I know. Yes, I have known all this 12 years ago. I knew when you first tried to seek to me. I knew then only that you are seeking answers to all these questions. You came to me for finding those answers only, haven't you? But yes, you knew you have to wait. And you did, for these 12 long years. You tried to find the answers yourself. And you did find them. Now you are here to just verify the answers, isn't it?
So now you ask me who chooses? Don't you know the answer? By asking this question you in fact have answered this. Yes, you are right. You have to choose yourself. Always. I never had that power. In fact you have to lead me. You are the master and I am just a friend, a guide who can only follow your lead. You have to realize this. Unless you believe you are the chosen one, I am helpless. You have to make the choice. But why do you think its so difficult to acknowledge this? Because its very hard to accept the fact that you are being loved unconditionally. No matter what you do, I will always love you. Its the most scary thing to acknowledge someone is there who loves you, trusts you, believes in you so blindly. I know exactly what you are thinking. I know you have come face to face with this feeling once, and you had run away from it. Wasn't there a friend who said he can trust you blindly. A friend who said he knows you will always be there for him? And what did you do, you run away from him. You chose to cut him out of your life! But I know you are friends again. I know you just needed a little more time to comprehend, to accept that you will try not to ever let that friend down. You tried to see me in such decisions. That was the first time I think you understood what it is to be loved by me. That was the time when you decided to stop seeking me for a year. You decided you want to live without actually looking for me. With out trying to pursue answers to these questions. And you did so for that one year. But we came closer, much closer than ever in that one year. Again it was your choice and your decision. I just followed your lead. We came closer because you stopped trying to bring yourself closer to me. You understood that you have to bring me closer to you. You have keep me close to you all the time and that how all these questions will be answered.
Now you ask me why? Well I really don't think you can find the answer for that. Why somebody should feel, should realize he is meant for bigger, better purpose in life. Why somebody should think he is loved more by me than rest of the mortals? Well there is no answer to this question. But try to ask why not? Why not he should be the special one, he should be given responsibility to shepherd the weaker? Haven't I given each and everyone of you all the powers necessary to lead? The three divine powers of “Prajanan”, “Srujan”, “Nirdalan” . Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh symbolizes these eternal powers only. And each and everyone has them. So why you cant lead? What more do you want to take that responsibility. Why you fear failure. Why you feel are just not good enough, important enough for that. This self realization has to occur. You have to ask yourself why not you?
Why do think Arjun, Radha, Draupadi, Hanuman became so special? Is it because they all loved me with out reasoning? Without ever questioning my powers, my existence. Answer is no! They all achieved greatness, because they all believed that I love them too. That I love them more than anyone else. Just remember, you are only as much part of me, as I am yours. If your heart and soul are mine then my heart and soul are yours too. What did Arjun see when I showed him the “PurnRup”. Did he see me in some gigantic form controlling all the living creatures? No! He saw himself. Because he is the one who realized he is nothing but me and I am nothing but him. He was the only one understood he's been loved truly and completely by me. And thats why he is so special, thats why he was the chosen one.

Quotes

2007-11-05T10:29:00.001-08:00

Some of the quotes :

Its not winners or losers, it fighters and fights that get a page in the history.

Why to seek, pursuit happiness? You carry it all the time.

The REAL world is actually, pretty COMPLEX.

Progress bars in computers are like seconds hand in watch. No one needs it most of the times, but still its necessary.

I found a gene which can reveal what a woman is thinking. They gave me noble of peace (rather than noble of biology).

What we don't have is generally unacceptable.

Marry the one who can half your sadness even if cant double your joy.

Lamhe

2007-10-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

Tujhi preet

2007-10-30T13:13:00.000-07:00

Kyun?

2007-10-30T13:02:00.001-07:00

I want to be a poet..

2007-10-30T12:49:00.001-07:00

I want to be a poet
and write about
all those struggles and pain,
and how a fight is never in vain.

I want to be a poet
and write about
we, hand in hand, you and me
and how in your eyes, my world I see.

I want to be a poet
and write about
innocent dew on winter morning,
and how nature keeps us going.

I want to be a poet
and write about
God, and all his giving
and how to pray to be forgiving.

Gifts

2007-09-12T07:31:00.000-07:00

Give a man
sorrow, the darkness.
But don't take
dreams he possess.

Give a man
pain, the heartbreak.
But don't take
his desire to stay awake.

Give a man
greed, the lust.
But don't take
his love just.

Give a man
tomorrow, today.
But don't take
his fading yesterday.

Leftovers

2007-08-28T08:01:00.001-07:00

There is no start,
there is no end.
But, there was a journey
which never end.

There is no sun,
there is no shade.
But, there was a colour
which also fade.

There is no sorrow,
there is no grief.
But, there was a tear
though very brief.

There is no parting,
there is no distance.
But, there was a closeness
lasted for an instance.

There is no me,
there is no you.
But, there was a us
broken somehow.

Sher - II

2007-08-28T07:54:00.000-07:00

Dagad

2007-08-21T04:43:00.000-07:00

Matrix: The movie (No, this is not a review)

2007-08-20T15:07:00.000-07:00

I had seen it when it was released didn't understood much of it. Saw it again a few days back. It stimulated a certain thought process within. Instead of human trapped in matrix, what if matrix is trapped inside every individual? What is all this perfect world exists with in our mind, heart and soul combined?
I think there is a Neo, Morphius, Trinity, Oracle, Smith, Architect trapped inside everyone's mind.

Architect:
Every one wants to be creator, guard of the world. Every one wants to be at center of the world, the world to behave, to obey, to follow the rules and guidance of ones mind.

Smith:
Every one has the animal chars waiting to be given a free hand. Even spreading my sharing.

Oracle:
Predictor of the future. To control it, to manipulate it

Trinity:
Believer in divine love. Believing in the philosophy that love is created by god and lovers are united by him. Ready to die, to fight, to kill for the love.

Morpheus:
Follower of the god. Believing in destiny. Living to be controlled. To follow the path, one believes to be set up for him by god.

Neo:
The one. The almighty. The part of god himself. One who believes that ANYTHING is possible if you be believe in yourself.

Which of the above is dominating your mind? Your heart? Your soul?

2007-08-20T14:19:00.000-07:00

Shared my laughter,
my joy, my smile
But how do I share
the twinkle in my eyes?

Shared my dreams,
my goals, my aim.
But how do I share
the passion in my heart?

Shared my affection,
my love, my longings.
But how do I share
skipping beat of the heart?

Shared my music,
my rhythm, my words.
But how do I share
beats of my heart?

Shared my sorrows,
my loss, my grief.
But how do I share
tears in my eyes?

Shared my beliefs,
my god, my religion.
But how do I share
the untouched soul?

Sher - I

2007-08-18T00:45:00.001-07:00

Happy Independece Day!

2007-08-18T00:43:00.000-07:00

Jatana

2007-08-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

Vyakhya

2007-06-17T16:08:00.000-07:00

Kahi Charolya - I

2007-06-17T16:03:00.001-07:00

To Dear Amrita Rao

2007-06-17T15:53:00.000-07:00

Bhaas

2007-06-17T14:32:00.000-07:00

She

2007-06-16T08:08:00.001-07:00

Her Words My Thoughts,
Her Troubles I Fought,
In Life, In Death
She Is The One I Always Sought!

Prashna

2007-06-16T03:25:00.001-07:00

Shubhechha (Vadhadivasachya)

2007-06-15T11:10:00.000-07:00

Ashavad Nirashavad

2007-06-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

Nirashavad

Sukh Du:kh agadi talat aahe,
Eka vakyat sukh tar dusryatch du:kh aahe.

Ashavad

Sukh Du:kh agadi talat aahe,
Eka vakyat du:kh tar dusryatach sukh aahe.

Dominators

2007-06-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

World of sports saw lot of people dominating there field during 1990s and trend continues in 2000s

M Schum (F1)
V Rossi (MotoGP 500cc)
T Woods (Golf)
P Samprass (Tennis)
S Graff (Tennis)
R Federer (Tennis)
L Armstrong (Bicycle riding Tour de france)
I Thorpe (Swimming sprints)
Lakers (the team)
Australia (the team, cricket and rugby)

Is it good or bad for sport that one individual or team dominates entire world? OR is it just passing phase?
(By the way these are the sports I follow, dont know how things are in other sports. Apart from these I also follow soccer but thankfully we see no one dominating really.)

Mitr

2007-06-03T07:46:00.000-07:00

     Sanskrit madhe Putr shabdacha arth Pu navachya naraka pasun tarato to Putr asa aahe.Tasach Mitr mhanaje Mi navachya naraka pasun tarato to.
     Ha Mi navacha narak itar sagalya narakanpeksha vegala aahe, karan to jivant panich anubhavava lagato. Mi, Majhe, Majhya asha bhavana mhanjech Mi navacha narak. Mitr ha asha bhavanan pasun mukti deto. To shikavato Aaplyala, Aaple, Aaplya Doghanche. Hya bhavanancha avishkar saglyat sukhmay asato. Munushyache aamtakendri jivan jyane badalate ashya hya bhavna.
     Munushya ha sarvat hushar, dnyani manala jaato. Tyasathi itar anek karane dili jatat, pan majhya mate sarvat mahatvache karan mhanaje maitri karanychi shakti. Itar pranyan madhe hya shakaticha, hya bhavanecha abhav asato, pan sarv manushyanmadhe maitri hee shakti asim pramanat asate. Agadi Duryodhan aani Hitler sarkhya manasat sudhha. Aani ithache aaple vegalepan aahe.
     Kahitari vatun ghenyachi, kashacha tari ekatrit anubhav ghenyachi, sukh du:kh vatanyachi hee bhavnach kadachit manushyala itaranpeksha vegale tharvate.
     Asa ek tari mitr pahije jo sada sarv kal tumachya sobat asel. Jyala ha mitr labhala tyala jagatale sarv sukh upbhogane shakya aahe.

Educated, Are we?

2007-05-29T08:26:00.000-07:00

I was having a little debate with a so called friend of mine about turning off computer while leaving from office.

This was the argument he presented.

It takes too much time (2 mins i guess) to turn on the computer.
I use to many applications which require logging in (I say max 10 apps, which can be automated using a simple script). So this takes lot of time.
And I want to start working as soon as i hit the office without wasting time.

I will say it would be taking around 5-10 mins for applications logging in, comp booting up. If Linux would take lesser may be.
So we high-tech professionals are ready to waste electricity, which is already scarce in countries like ours so that we can save 5-10 mins
and utilize those 5-10 mins instead on using useless stuff like Orkut.

Really we are highly educated people now!!